Heather Hayward is an Immersive Experiential Leader who utilizes coaching, guided meditations, targeted writing, workshops, and group experiences to connect you with your inner dialogue, what she calls “the Still Small Voice.”
Heather and I were chatting last week, and we decided to do a podcast interview right then and there. I am so excited to share this impromptu and experiential episode with you.
A lot of us, myself included, overthink, over-do, and over-give. No matter how many things we are juggling, our motto is, “I’m good. I got it.” I go, go, go until I crash. Typically, before I crash, I feel rushed, unorganized, always behind, and overextended. This is when I usually call Heather. During COVID, I have been feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and anxious, as I’m sure, many of you have.
When you think of meditation, you might think of it as a process to clear your mind. Heather’s meditation practice involves acknowledging what you are thinking about and how you feel about it. It’s all about connecting to your “Still Small Voice.” Heather describes this inner voice as your connection to your inner child, “the one that just wants to draw just to draw, to dance just to dance, and to go for a hike not to exercise.” Heather believes “momentary meditations” are much more practical. All you need to do is be able to have an intimate dialogue with yourself to see how you are feeling. I saved Heather’s quick meditation experience from our podcast on my IGTV so that you can replay it anytime you need to breathe and check-in with yourself.
In addition to these little meditation sessions, you need to schedule out time to do things that bring you pure joy and activities that help you unwind and recharge. When you give yourself this time, you will be more present and energetic when you need to be there for others. Think of it as “energy management” instead of time management.
We need to be taking care of ourselves every day, not just when we relapse and have to stay in bed. The next time you are feeling extended, take a moment to place your hands over your heart and inhale, “I am” exhale “here.”
If you want to learn more or schedule your own experience with Heather, you can find her at heatherhayward.com and @heather.hayward on Instagram.
Welcome to the Heal podcast for all things related to Lyme disease and other chronic illnesses. I’m Mimi McLean, the mom five, founder of Lyme 360 and a Lyme warrior. Tune in each week to hear from doctors, health practitioners, and experts to hear about their treatments, struggles and triumphs to help you on your healing journey. I’m here to heal with you.
Hi everyone. Welcome back to the Heal podcast. This is Mimi, and today I have a good friend Heather Hayward on, and I’m so excited to have her on cause I’ve worked with her for a while. And so can really realize the benefit that she has provided me during my healing process. But Heather is a results coach. She’s also an immersive experiential leader and she’s also an immersive meditation leader. So we are so excited to have her on today because not only we’re going to chat about why meditation is so important to healing, but she’s also going to be providing us an experience on this podcast today. So I’m very excited to have you on thank you so much.
Thank you, Mimi. And I’m thrilled because anytime that I get to talk about meditation, it’s always the opposite of what people think. And they think about clearing their mind and following their thoughts and coming back to the breath and all that stuff, which is fine. And it’s extremely beneficial. That’s where you’ve got the 30, 40 years of science behind meditation. But what I always like to think about meditation affecting is how I think about stuff. I always think as in our work together, it was really how do we think about a certain issue? And especially in what you’re doing in the healing podcast is some situations feel hopeless because they have the chronic connected to it. It’s not like a broken leg where you get the cast, you get it off and then boom, you’re moving on. So when you have anything with your immune system or you have something that the doctors kind of look at you puzzled, like, I don’t know, there can be that sense of hopelessness and despair. And that’s when we start to talk ourselves out of the ability to heal. So in my form of meditation, it’s really about striving to have a dialogue within ourselves that doesn’t actually stress us out even more. And I know with everything that you’ve dealt with, that’s been a huge thing to overcome is how do you talk to yourself? You know, when something, when a symptom kind of rises back up. So talk to me about that, Mimi.
New Speaker (02:35):
Thank you, Heather. It’s so true. And I feel like with chronic Lyme and any kind of chronic illness, it’s kind of, there’s a point to that. No one believes you, right? So then you were like, questioning, am I even sick? And then you do everything the doctors tell you you’re supposed to. And I think until I actually dealt with the emotional piece of it, you know, I was doing everything I was supposed to, but I never really dealt with the emotional piece. Until I started to come see you, where we started working through. And you were giving me the tools to use that even after I would leave you to be able to learn how to emotionally deal with stress in my life and just release past stress or past baggage that was holding on. I think people really don’t take into account that past trauma or past thoughts or current stress really, really plays a detrimental role onto your health, right? So I think that’s why it’s super important to address this. If, if someone hasn’t addressed it at this point, like they’re not going to get better from a chronic illness until they actually really look at what’s going on and being able to release the stress in their life and have the tools to do that.
And the frustrating thing is with so much pop psychology, so much drive-through breakthrough, you know, the hack and thinking just a positive thought is going to have an effect. Just think about feelings are what we really need to be able to learn how to travel through. We can heal what we can feel, and we can have the thought of I’m going to get up in the morning at 5:00 AM and start with my writing and my journal. We wake up and we don’t feel like it. And we just hit snooze. And so, so many times feelings just eclipse anything that we’ve set out for ourselves. And the other thing that I know about you is there was not one rock that you left unturned. You did all the protocols that you were given. You didn’t just do it for a week. You did some for like a year. I mean, it was very committed and you made progress. The issue is, is when we are the strong people. So my clients overthink overdo over-give and they’re over it. And so when we’re the ones who are always going and our motto is no, I got it. You know what, no, I got it. I got it. No, I’m good. I’m good. No, you know what? I got it. I got it. I’m good. I’ve got it. I’m good. And then we have to have this illness, this banana slot, you know, the banana peel go out and boom, you know, here we are. That’s when we have to kind of slow down our life so that it can link up with what we really feel we can do and what we want to do so that we’re not always kind of extended. That feeling of extended is feeling like we’re rushed. Like we’re behind. Like we’re never organized. There’s a sense of undercurrent of impatience of basically never feeling like there’s enough time. And that’s the precursor to, I think illness because we’re just constantly taxing ourselves and going and adding and adding and adding. And when I help people go inside, it’s really not to clear the mind, but to give enough space so you can know what’s on my mind, you know, to go what is on my mind and to instead of disassociate from it and distract and stay on Instagram and social media and all the information coming in, which is not helping us heal is to be able to really tune in and have a ritual that you do that helps you stay current, because if we can and I have migraines for a decade, so I understand chronic, but if I could have stayed current with how overwhelmed, I felt with responsibility and responding to and getting back to and helping and, and just always being there and presenting well and being like, no, I’m good. I got it. You know what, let me do it. I got it. You know, you want to do a 10, o’clock session at night, honey. I got it. I got you love you. You know? And, and all of a sudden you’re like, wait a minute. Do I love me? What happened to my little schedule of getting to bed on time? So there’s so many places where if we can just stop and go, okay, so what is on my mind? And then do a process, which if I have your permission, I’d like to take your audience through, then go through another process and then start maybe a walking meditation, or that’s when you can meditate. But I really like people to think this is my whole idea is let’s think better. Let’s master how we think let’s not try and think like a guru or think, you know, like we’re, we always have to be on vacation, people that do stuff and really achieve, have an undercurrent of stress all the time, because that’s achievement, that’s success. If we’re always in samadhi and with our fingers and, you know, Shavasana at the end of yoga. Okay. But my success hasn’t been there. My client’s success hasn’t been there. It’s been dealing with having just a little undercurrent of stress all the time, but not having it, eclipse, everything where it just takes us out.
No, but that’s perfect. And I would love to do that experience. I mean, because I definitely, I think, you know, for me, my life has been a roller coaster. Like I feel really good. I ride it as hard as it goes and until I crash and then I crash and my crashes used to last a lot longer and they do now, they last like a day or two and then I’m back and I push hard and then I crash and it’s just creating this like rollercoaster, which is awful. So having the tools and I definitely, the way you just described right now is what I’m going through. And I think a lot of people are going through it because of COVID and just having the kids home and not having certainty of when you can do work and not knowing like where your charger is, cause your kids took it. And just that extra little stress, right. That just doesn’t need to be there. But it’s, it’s there right now. And so I think it’s causing lot of people. I know a lot of friends who have Lyme and you know, kind of, it was a way they’re all relapsing now again, because I think it’s the stress of what’s going on. And just so I noticed for myself, it’s it’s happening. And so just bringing back the tools that you’re going to teach us now to help us get back to that, even keel.
You know, the thing that I have always, always appreciated about you is you’re just so forthright. You’re just like you say it like it is, you know, you’re blunt. It’s a great thing. It’s refreshing, it’s refreshing.
I know, I can’t hide my feelings.
You know what? Then your people are drawn to you and the rest weren’t ever your people, anyway, your people are going to be drawn to that because it’s going to be like, Oh, what a relief? Someone who is real, you know, someone, I still talk about anxiety. Cause that was what I suffered from many, many years ago and I don’t hide it. And I remember one time when I was teaching somewhere, I explained to them about anxiety and rumination and how sometimes it, it can take me out. And 85% I’m good, and then there’s like 15% that I can get a bad comment or a thumbs down or someone wants a refill or something. And I go into it and a woman came up to me afterwards and she was like, you know, I just have to say something. I just really wouldn’t share about that. Cause it’s not uplifting. You know? I mean, we’re coming to you, you know, to hear like what you do. And to hear that, like you get triggered by such shallow things. It’s like, it’s just not really uplifting. And I was like, I’m not your teacher because I can’t be anyone else, but me. Right. And I’m, I’m an entrepreneurial empath, you know, I’m in business. But my business is also to care, to feel, to respond, to love. Which also means I don’t have a lot of that armor that other people have so I can be in business and then I can be in my business, working with my clients. But if I sometimes take that practitioner part of me and I put it out in the world, in social media in any way without my armor without my shield, Mimi, it hurts. I get embarrassed. I get like meh and then I have to go, okay, what’s been on my mind because I’m off. And I have to know how to regroup because people in business, forget women, men, people in business now have two separate businesses. We have the one that we’re working in. And then that other one that creates, you know, we have to spend so much time in the marketing or the forward facing. And how does it look and is that the right this and the stuff that people like me we’ve never even thought of. And then people will, you know, private message, you know, I think you should redo everything. I’m like, really? I don’t have time for that. Cause I’m, I’ve just got on with it. You know, I’m just here and I love what you said. It is about not having the charger and you have 5,000 children. I know you only have five, but it’s an enormous amount of children to have. And you’re a business woman and you’re a wife and you’re a friend and you have causes that you care about and in COVID, so you had a rise in your symptoms. Guess what? I think, I won’t say a hundred percent, but over 90% of the people that I’ve worked with over the years, all of a sudden my phone started ringing again, of course it did because our continuity and our foundation and our structure all got changed. So 7:00 AM is really 11:00 AM and bedtime is now movie time. And, you know, zoom time is our life. And you know, now we’re sitting more than we ever have. And for you. So in terms of your spike, what has been something that you’ve come back to that has helped?
For me? It’s definitely making sure I try to get to bed by 10 o’clock right. Water, saunas really help. I use that as my time to just like decompress in there. Yeah. And I think that, and also, you know, like meditating, I’m not a huge meditator I’ll admit, you know, but I will just try to calm myself down, especially at night, even if it’s just the counting of the breath in and out just to kind of calm down. But I loved how you talked about like your morning routine. Cause I keep thinking to myself, I’m going to have this amazing morning routine, I’m going to get up at 5:00 AM and I go off my 15,000 steps and then I’m going to come write in my journal. And it’s like, as you say, you always have the apps going off in your brain that kind of like depletes, you it’s like that app or that thought of like, Oh, I should be writing in a journal. I have never written in a journal, but I always want to be, you know, so it’s like, should I be? So that’s like always in the back of my mind, like, Oh, I’m not writing in a journal. Right. So it’s like, then I feel guilty about not guilty. That’s not the word, but it’s like, you know, like an app that’s open on your phone. It’s kind of in the back of my mind, I’m like, eventually I’ll start writing in a journal I’m 50 years old, but eventually I start writing in the journal, you know, like, what am I waiting for?
But my question would be what’s missing that you would need to write in a journal or is it just thinking that that’s what everyone else is doing?
Maybe just to remember, you know, like just to document like what, so you could say, you’re not like, this is what I was thinking. This is what I was hoping to achieve. Like I don’t have that written down anywhere and I should, that’s kind of all in my mind of like my 10 year plan, but I don’t have like, okay, today I was feeling great. And this is what I think triggered it. Like I need to kind of keep track more of what I’m doing or eating or whatever. That’s triggering my relapses and maybe I would see a trend.
Yeah. And then lower the bar. Maybe it’s three times a week that you do a check-in, just lower the freaking bar when all else fails, lower your standards of that kind of thing of what everyone else does. For me, I can see my degree of peace diminishes. The more I spend time in the world without time first with my still small voice so I can function. I’m a high functioner, you know, I’ve been doing this stuff for so long that I almost don’t notice. And it’s kind of like the gas tank that it doesn’t feel like all of a sudden it’s on empty. It’s like, wait, what just happened? I just worked it in and looked full. And that’s how my spiritual bank account can be where I can just, if I don’t feed it just a little. So I have certain people with a message that I enjoy. I have certain ways of writing that is so simple and that I have my clients do so that they can stay again current to the degree that we lose touch. You’ve just gone on a retreat. Right. And you’re full and you’re just full of these false expectations that are never going to happen. But gosh, darn it. You are so excited about it. And you bought in to, you got the journal, you got your new pen and you’re just logged into the Facebook group because you know, this time it’s going to be different and this time it’s going to be different. And you’re lucky to do if you’re lucky three days in a row, but it never gets to 14 days or the 21 day challenge, unless you’re totally single. And so most of the everyone I’m dealing with is married with children or like me, I have older parents. So you just go from one caring to another caring and we cannot have the same cookie cutter standards for everyone. And you’ll see people on Instagram. And my it’s like, where do they get the time to do all these stories? It’s like a freaking mini series and I’ll look, I mean, I’m lucky to just do like three posts a week if I’m lucky, you know? And so, but I remember when I thought I had to do all that, it just stressed me out. Like I said, it’s not me, me is a couple of times a week, you know? Yeah. And I do like the thought for everyone to kind of have something a benchmark, you know, you don’t have to be Ann Sexton or, you know, Sylvia Plath and, and write you know, eons of emotional content. And then realize that the decade ago you were writing the same stuff. I don’t feel like I’m enough. I’m too fat. What happened to my face? You know, am I really happy? We don’t have to be a depressing novel unless we make money at it. And I’m like, you go be depressing and make a whole lot of money, but to be able to have a touch point. And that happened to me just in this last month, I realized God, last time I really did a deep journal entry was July 23rd or something. And I was getting a little too in the world and to, and to metrics and the algorithms, and my business. And I love my new business, but I was too extended, too driving without looking at the gas tank. And all of a sudden I realized I was short with my son, my business partner, and feeling very reactive. So when I’m reactive, that means I have not spent time in that quiet place where I do write. And I get clear and all I’ve done is like the last three days, I’ve just made that top priority. And it’s usually always a priority for me. So I really lost track. But it’s amazing if you come in and do just certain things, three days in a row, I tell people, forget the 21 day challenge. And you know me, I’ve said to you, let’s do this process and do it for three days. And I say, just do a five minute meditation. You don’t have to do a 30 minute journey. You don’t have to do this big thing with your chakras and energy work and unplugging chords. You know, I think it’s great once in a while. But the day today is what creates everything in our life. I mean, Darren Hardy talks about it. The compound effect, you know, we have all these books, James Cleary, you know, the atomic habits, habit is huge. But if you make it just enough that, you know, I can do that, I can actually do what she’s talking about. Then we have that personal victory. And that’s actually where happiness comes from. It’s not when you have the kids and the husband and the house and this. And they actually say from research, it’s when we know, I said, I’d write every day. And I did. I said, I put my laundry away and I did. I said, I’d do for you a podcast. And I did. And it’s the personal victories that create this happiness inside of us. Aren’t these monumental things. It’s those personal victories.
There’s nothing better than finishing that to do this at the end of the day. But you’re like, Oh, I did it.
It’s the best!
So, okay. So take us back to, or let us start the experience that you’re talking about. So for people who are like me right now that, you know, we’re kind of, our symptoms are kind of coming back. What’s something that we should be doing every morning or what do you recommend to keep it minimal and to kind of talk to that inner child voice that you were talking about.
So you have a journal and the first entry is kind of what’s on my mind. What am I thinking about? And you write it down, thinking about the kids. I’m thinking about the podcast. I’m thinking about my taxes. I’m thinking about my business. I’m thinking about my health. High level. You just kind of read it and now you drop in. How do I feel about what I am thinking about? And you write that: overwhelmed, excited, sad, desperate, angry feelings, and you can go on Google and go, what are feelings? It’s okay. I have no judgment, but there’s a whole list of feelings that you can come up with. Cause some people will say, I don’t know really what a feeling is. They know more what a sensation is and now we get into sensation. You’ve just done what’s on my mind. What am I thinking about? Hmm. How do I feel about what I’m thinking about register it underneath there and then the body. What’s the emotion? How is the body now? What’s the sensation? Do I feel tired? Do I feel achy? Do I feel cold? Do I feel revved up? So you go into this sensation of the body, then you just observe, wow, that’s me. That is me right there. And you don’t have to write a whole big, long journal entry. And then you take that into a little meditation. So if your audience is driving, they can just listen to this or they can listen to it while they’re seated down. So can I take you through an experience right now?
Close your eyes and just sit back and breathe in and out through your nose and drop your shoulders and slow the breath even more. Through the nose. Allow all your attention to be right in the center of your brain. Notice what you’re thinking about right now. Nothing to say to me. Hmm. Part of me is thinking about, another part of me is thinking about, I’m also thinking about, and then slide down all the way down to your solar plexus, which is beneath your ribs, above your belly button. Just notice. What are you feeling about what you just thought about? Hmm. I’m feeling I’m also feeling and I’m feeling and drop your shoulders. And now notice your body. The body carries the content of feeling and thinking it can become an emotion. It can filter through wash through the body. So notice how your does your body feel and does it need to change positions? Does it want to sit back, sit forward, notice your shoulders, your jaw, slightly open and then come back right up to thinking again. Notice what you’re thinking. What are you more aware of? Hmm. I’m also thinking about, And then drop down again to the solar plexus and notice. What are you feeling now? I’m feeling. And then notice the overall body, the sensation in the body. Now your eyes remain closed. I want you to just go into the heart. Just that Oregon. You can even imagine playfully that it’s behind the ribs protected, but you get to get through an end to the heart, where you get to greet that you behind all the do and go and planning and strategizing breathing in. I am and breathing out here. I am here. Stay in the heart. I am on the in breath here on the out breath. Notice any guidance and direction that just comes from there. I’m just going to be quiet for 30 seconds and just listen. What do you need to do to take the very best care of you staying in the heart? Listen.
Breathing in. I am and breathing out here as you slowly start to just open and close your hands. Notice what you want to take with you. The next few breaths, very slowly, open your eyes. And then when you’re ready, just share where you started your day and where you are right now. And what the differences with your audience.
Um, I started my day feeling very awful. Actually it was going to stay in bed this morning. That’s how bad I felt. So I went and ran myself to the sauna. And now I definitely, as when you were just asking my body what it wants, it definitely wants to do more of this where I just have to kind of set myself and have an intentional meditation or whatever you want to call it. Just even first five minutes just to just calm myself down. Cause I definitely feel like I’m on, like, I just to do this, whatever you call it, circle, which you just kind of like get yourself so worked up over and then you just feel like you’re never, you’re just digging a hole in the sand. That just doesn’t end. So it’s just kind of coming down and just being like enough is enough. And it’s just hard when you don’t feel well in general, like your whole body hurts, you know, whatever too, because then you fall behind. If you have a day that you didn’t feel well, then now you’ve doubled up. So it’s just kind of listening to your body, like you said, and just taking a moment to just calm down.
If one wants to heal, you’re on time. There’s enough time. Everything is in order. Everything will get done. But when we don’t feel good, we’ve feel behind which revs up the sympathetic nervous system. And then the Vegas nerve is like alert, alert, alert, alert, all parts of our body, cortisol, dominant, blah, blah, blah. We know all the brain science, but how practically can we do this? So when we’re rushing around, what I want your audience to do is to, even if they have to put their nondominant hand over their heart with the other one, covering it, breathing in, I am and breathing out here to the point where if you do that enough and you stay with that just three minutes, you’ll get to the place where you actually hear that still small voice saying, I am here. You won’t feel alone. That you’ll feel that divine presence, whatever that is to you, whatever that connection is. Because no matter if you’re Christian, if you’re Buddhist, if you’re an atheist, if you just like the sun and the moon, great, then utilize it. You know, we’re all Stardust. We all have particles of everything and to be able to get so quiet because we’re usually there and there and there and there and onto the next and over here. But if we can really come back to, I am … Here. Because that’s what we’re all missing. We are vacant, absent, even from sometimes when I these or do something, I’ll realize cut, what am I off? Oh, I’m thinking, are they getting it? Or if you’re on a panel or something, you know, and the panelists are going, I don’t know if she’s talking about the right thing that I wanted her to, you know, and then we’re over there in the leader’s person going. I don’t think she should talk about anxiety. You know, we want her to look pretty and to look polished and to have her elevator pitch, you know, write down, gosh, darn it. And so to be able to say, I am… Here long enough to hear that divine coming back, saying I am here so that we can feel that connection when we pray or meditate or set our intention, that we’re not alone, that there is divine Providence, that everywhere we go, that God is God good, orderly direction. It can be, God is a, is a personal experience. As a universal experience, it’s gotta be more than the chase and the doing and being a consumer and being a product. We’re always building a product. We got to monetize everything and launch. Then we got to launch our kids and then we got to make sure our face. I made a joke to someone that I bought that yoga facelift woman on the internet. And then a whole bunch of other women said, my gosh, I bought it too. And they’re like, how’s it working? I said, I haven’t opened it, but I was really happy to buy it, you know, because the infomercial is so darn good that I’m like, I need all of her facial positions.
You know, does it by buying it that counts. Right. Does it get fixed? That’s my theory is I bought it off the checklist it’s there, but then I never opened it. And then I just, but, um, can you talk about the inner child? Cause you mentioned that a couple of times the voice inner child voices. So is that your inside voice, like the voice that you hear? You know, I always say that like my kids it’s like you have two voices. You can listen to your head or you listen to your stomach, your heart, right. There’s two voices. And I always tend to find myself listening to my head and it’s the stomach or that inner voice that you’re talking about.
So when I say still small voice, that’s my connection to the divine. That’s the connection to, but when I say the inner child, that’s the one that just wants to draw, to draw, to dance, just to dance, to go for a hike, not to exercise that wants to talk to a friend without a timeframe. So my inner child is about being spontaneous and not so structured. And my inner child when I’m making sure that part of my schedule is sauntering, meandering playing, and basically getting on the phone with a girlfriend, getting on the phone with my mom, getting on the phone with my son, with a friend. Do you know what I mean? It’s like that for me feeds my inner child because what’s it. If Jack is all work, no play, doesn’t make Jack a happy, you know, the shining, when was the last time that it was playful to do what we’re doing. And I think in terms of business, because you also deal with entrepreneurs, I always say, build a business that you want to run. Don’t build a business that you want to have, but really build a business that you want to run that you know, the amount of time so that you don’t have these false expectations. Well, I’ve built a business with my son doing our guided meditation framework and teaching people how to do meditations in their one-on-one and groups and stuff. I’ve built it around intimacy and building people up and coaching them because I love that. I have not built it on having to create content all the time or having to do any of that. He can deal with the marketing, but I’ve built a business model that I actually want to step into, which then makes it so that my inner child is showing up for this. And you and I talked this morning and we just decided to do it well, right after we hung up, I got so excited. That’s my inner child. That’s my like, Ooh, because I want to be with people that I want to align with in business. And like I said, I say, no, no, no, a lot. Because I always say I’m naturally carbonated. And if I’m left out for too long, everything goes flat. And so that’s my inner child is the person that wants to not just be in touch with that when I’m sick. And therefore I cancel my schedule. So it’s about, I created a different workflow and workflow. Oh my gosh is so important. Cause like for you, you got to know it’s nothing about time management. It’s about energy management and make sure that you build your whole schedule around your energy. I’m a morning person. I’m phenomenal till about four. And then I couldn’t create content. I don’t want to edit. I don’t want to do, but before that I’m a machine after that I can lead meditations. I can coach anytime. But do you know what I mean? It’s like knowing that. And when I go against that and I try and do something with my son, that’s very heady about content. I feel grumpy and that isn’t caring for my inner child. And also it’s not to push too much because the joy, the bubbliness, the enthusiasm is what becomes charismatic and electric and magic. And it’s what you want to be around. It’s like finding that inner child in you.
it reminds me, on one of my past podcasts was with my acupuncturist and he’s evolved over the past 20 years as well. And you know, when I go to see him now, he’ll say, what did you do today that made you happy? What did you do today to make you happy? He goes, that’s honestly more important than anything else. He said, you have to do something every day that makes you happy. And I don’t care what it is. If it’s, you know, going for a run. If it’s watching your favorite TV show, you have to do something. If it’s knitting or reading a book that you’ve always wanted, you have to do something that you want to do that makes you happy and brings you joy for the day. Because otherwise you will never get well, unless you find happiness.
Never. And it’s being willing actually to have less profit, to have other people do what you don’t want to do when people say, well, I can’t afford to have an assistant or to have someone that helps have them for a little bit of time offloading some of the stuff that you’re never going to be good at. It’s always going to be frustrating because that’s not what you’re supposed to be doing. It’s not just for people with a lot of money, just, just have a little bit. And that’s where people, they get such huge goals and they don’t do anything. They overwhelm themselves and I’m all about results. So in order to get a result, you got to get really clear on what is it that is producing what you don’t want. And it really boils down to self-mastery. How is my relationship with my body, my sleep, my food, caffeine, my intake of information. Because some of the people that I talk to, the reason why they’re not they’re going, I don’t understand. I have my social media that, and I just can’t seem to book that, that, that, that, but you can see physician heal thyself. You can see that they’re not taking care of them. And it’s the hardest thing is to take the time, to reset the dial and to reorganize your energy management. And then how you schedule yourself. It’s, it’s so important because we have so many outer things telling us, you need to do this. You need to do this. This is the app that you need to keep you on. Schedule. You need to have your Fitbit. You need to have your Apple watch. How many steps? Oh my gosh, I didn’t.
Yeah. It just never ending, never ending. So it’s just finding that happiness and calming down. So using meditating, it’s not meditating just to meditate, it’s meditating or just taking a moment to kind of have a mantra that you just slow yourself down a little bit.
Momentary meditations, I think are much more practical. And to be able to have an intimate dialogue with yourself, and then you can go into a deeper practice. Of course, there’s so much science about meditation and breath. And if you don’t have time to do anything, the most important thing research has proven is a yawn. A slow yawn, a stretch, micro stretching, which is just as slow. And then a fake yawn and then a real yawn. And it just sends that message to the body that everything is okay because animals in the wild, after they’ve run from the predator or they shake it out. The body, everyone talks about mindset. And I talk about body set. I believe the body tells the true story. My body always told this true story and being a body worker for 20 years before I did this last 17, the body told me the story of if someone was taking care iff someone was exercising. If they were doing this or that, the body told the story, they told themselves a storyline, but the body told me the facts, even though they’re living in the fiction and cause there’s nowhere to hide with a massage therapist, what are you going to do? I mean, there’s no, you can’t suck it in. You can’t, you know, if you’re tight, you’re still tight. If you’re moving like this, right. The body will tell you. And in terms of you, what has been the thing when you feel most connected to your inner child, to that, that voice within you?
Well, it’s funny that you say that because I was just thinking my days are so scheduled that if there’s ever a moment where like, Oh my gosh, I have nothing going on right now. Hey guys, do you want to? And I do something silly with them and let’s go for a walk, like something spontaneous, inevitably I’ve missed something. I’ve missed a call. It always happens. Like, how is that possible? Like anytime I let my guard down, I feel like I miss something. And I’m like, so I almost need to like schedule it. Like you said, like schedule this time. Like I am doing this right now, block it off so that I know. And then just creating systems. But my inner child, I love to walk. I’ll walk all day long. I obviously love to play with my kids. I love doing board games with them and card games. My five-year-old right now, we’re doing a lot of old maid, but monopoly is a family favorite. So we play a lot of monopoly or Sorry, Rummy cube is a new one for us. And we’ve been doing that. So we do that. I do puzzles. I love puzzles. I can sit there for hours and do puzzles, but you know what also doing these podcasts, I really, really enjoy it. It’s kind of hit that inner child voice that when I was younger, I used to be in theater and I never did anything with it since then. And not that this is theater, but it’s just like getting out there and talking to people. I love connecting people. I love talking to people and learning. I love to learn. I’m always listening to podcasts. I’m always listening to something. Cause I love audio books is like my favorite thing. So I go on my walks and listen, listen, listen. So for me, I really enjoy learning.
There you go. And it’s enjoy. And that’s what you listen for. When someone says, I enjoy that. That’s then what you want to make sure that you’re doing a lot of doesn’t have to be six hours a day because you hit it. And for me, I remember, I think I went through 15 audible books in one, like a year and three month period because I was doing my Hill that you know about. And it’s just a, it’s just a five mile thing. So I would do it in about an hour and 10 minutes or something. So, you know, it takes, and I just did it every, I was just listening to audible books and then doing some at night so much fun. And it was just like, and that, I think you feel this too. I would look forward to it. It wasn’t like drudgery. Like, Oh, now I have to walk and listen to my
No, it’s the opposite. It’s like, if someone wants to go with me and my husband wants to go with me on a walk, he’s like, I’m going to go on a walk tonight. I’m like, not that I don’t want him to come, but I’m kind of like, Ooh, but I’m just at a good point. And I know if I miss a day, it’s like, am I going to keep missing a day? You know, it’s just kind of like, I’m on a routine. I want to stay on it until it’s over. But yes, I know totally what you’re talking about because I do enjoy, like, I look forward to like the next time I’m on it.
One of the things with working with my son in our company is I said to him, there has to be something that you do when we’re not working on this because when you do online stuff and it just, it’s never ending. There’s never a time that you’re ever done. It’s always never done. And it’s not like old school. Remember when you would make a brochure and that would be the brochure for a year. And now, you know, you have to make a brochure every day. And so what he loves to do is he loves to play the piano because as a child, he played the piano and then we stopped at five. Cause it was karate, baseball and piano, piano got ditched. And he regrets it to this day, but no longer, because that was my present was a real piano, not an electric, a real piano. And he sends me voice memos of him playing Mozart or whatever and the simple stuff he’s. So he’s 26 at the time of this filming. And he’s so excited and he can lose hours. And he is so filled up is like, it’s so fulfilled. It’s just very fulfilling to have something that you do. Some people, you know, they do art. I’m not going to draw. I’m not a painter. I love that they do. I’m more like you. I love ideas. I love, thought I love thinkers. I love people that think in a different way. I love to walk and listen to podcasts. I love to walk. It brings me joy.
This has been amazing. And everyone has to check out your new website, which I absolutely love and your new program. So it’s Heatherhayward.com and we will have it in the comments and also on my website so they can easily link to it. But this has been so amazing. And you know, you’re one of my favorite people and I just appreciate everything that you’ve done for me over the past. What has it been nine years? I don’t know how long we’ve known each other for a while now, since I moved to LA, it has been a great ride on this journey with you. So I appreciate it.
It’s mutual. And thank you so much for having me. You’re doing great, great work.
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